What We Expected and Did Not Receive

Overview:

This gate centers around the grief of unmet expectations—what we hoped for but never received. These could be childhood dreams that never materialized, the love or validation we needed from our parents but didn’t get, or life plans that went awry. This grief is tied to disappointment, disillusionment, and the realization that life often doesn’t unfold in the way we imagined.

Deeper Insights:

The loss felt at this gate is often subtle but profound. It can be the grief of never having achieved the career you wanted, or not being able to have children, or not receiving the love and support you needed growing up. This kind of grief can sneak up on us, sometimes manifesting as low-grade sadness, anxiety, or feelings of being “stuck” without us even realizing the source.

Unmet expectations are often compounded by societal pressures that tell us how our lives “should” look. When reality doesn’t match the idealized version of life we’ve been taught to strive for, grief emerges. It’s important to recognize that these expectations—while often unconscious—shape our identities and dreams.

Healing Through This Gate:

Healing through this gate involves mourning not only the losses but also the expectations themselves. By acknowledging the gap between what we wanted and what we received, we open the door to acceptance and transformation. This doesn’t mean giving up on desires or dreams but rather accepting that life will inevitably fall short of certain ideals. Practicing gratitude for what we have, while also making space to grieve what didn’t come to pass, helps to release us from the grip of unmet expectations.